k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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