WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
