And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
