shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize