When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
