Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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