Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
