Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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