I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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