Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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