I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
