ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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