If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
