just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
