I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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