I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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