Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
