He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
