What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize