He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
