How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
