I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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