Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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