Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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