idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
