how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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