I heard we made out
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
