We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
