He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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