I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
handjob tips. give me some.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
