Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
