i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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