her vagine was all disorganized.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
