I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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