I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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