his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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