Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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