Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
