What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
