your parents love me but you hate me
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
