Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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