Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize