You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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