Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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