I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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