tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
