i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
