How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize