my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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