dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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