No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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