everyone is single if you try hard enough
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
