No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize