what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
