Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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