As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
