this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How's work?
Spinning.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
