I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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