This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
