Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
