Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
