dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
