how can u be prego again
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
