I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
