"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
