Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
