the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
