the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
